Since it was just announced or whatever that the government and NSA has logs of Skype calls I figure I might as well go ahead and preemptively release information on how I think the hulk’s dick works.
We all know about the hulk (pictured below).
I figure there are three main theories as to how the Hulk’s bozack and prangus work.
1.) Hulk has no cock n balls/ hulks dingus go inside like a dog
After doing an extensive 10 seconds of research on google, I found that Hulk once had an extensive harem full of babes. It seems unlikely that any man, hulk or otherwise, would be able to have a harem like that and never bone down, so I’m taking this as proof that hulk has a dick.
It might be that it still goes up in him but we know that he can at least get it on in Hulk form, which leads to the next theory.
2.) A Hung Hulk/ The Shaq hypothesis
We all know Shaq. He’s a basketball guy, I think. He was also Steel in the movie Steel, which is I’m sure where the majority of people will recognize him.
The Hypothesis goes: A big man (like Shaq who is huge) must have a big wanger. If it’s even mostly proportional he’s gotta have a monster dong. A veritable Monster of Cock (TM).
The Hulk, if anything, is bigger than Shaq, which means, of course, that the Hulk’s dingus must be huge. No getting around it: the Hulk has a fat prick. But we never see a dong flopping around accidentally slipping out of the bottom of his shorty-shorts or really slapping against anything at all, which the Hulk – being a man and all – would def. eventually do especially if it’s a biggun.
Before we go any further: I’d say it’s possible that Hulk has what is known in the medical community as a “Grower not a Shower,” and I’ll get to why I think that’s wrong in a minute. However, I would say that, given previous information, it is possible Hulk’s dangler is small when flaccid.
We established that Hulk boned down with women as the Hulk. If you’ve seen porn you know that the limits of the female bergina are tested already with possible human prangers. I’d a lot about a wermen’s pussays but I know that much. That leads to our next theory:
3.) The Hulk’s “Average”
I believe the most likely scenario is that the Hulk has a small penis. Granted, it could be pretty big or even average compared to a normal human, but since the Hulk is so big we’d have to invariably call it a micro-dick.
It’s like how you can be a Little Person in the US if you’re like 4 feet 5 but in Korea or w/e you’d just be short. You can have a six-inch pranger and be totally good if ur 6 feet tall, but if you’re eleven feet tall and you got a dingus like that it’s gonna look little.
Hell, at 11 feet an 8 inch brangus would be pretty little, really. And you’d still be able to get down with normal sized human women. Like or not, the Hulk prolly got a little wang. Sorry.
If you’ve seen the 2000 Brendan Fraser movie Bedazzled (who hasn’t?) you’ll of course remember the scene where he wishes to be a sweet rich basketball guy and ends up stupid with a toothpick dick. I call this the Inverse Shaq Hypothesis – a big dude with a little wanger is funny, and the Hulk isn’t funny.
However, the Hulk is also the physical avatar of Anger. And if the Hulk can’t bone I think it discounts angry physical act of loving as an illegitimate form of sexing. Since absolutely no one thinks that true then I guess the true answer is: Hulk’s got a little wanger because Mad Sex Fucking is the small aspect of his anger form thing. It’s why he’s got a big mouth cuz being Hangry (angry and hungry at the same time) is a big part of what being the hulk is about, and why he’s always biting stuff.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on the Hulk’s (not so) low hanger. Do you have a strong opinion either way? I sure do, and I’m definately a well adjusted member of society, so if you do too it’s only a good sign about your mental health.